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Acid Tongue 875 - Hey Hey's Heyday

Author: Darryn King
Thursday, 13 September 2007
This Monday marks (or ‘marked’ for those of you who don’t rush to get their 3D first thing in the week) the 51st anniversary of television in Australia.

The history of television in Australia is a great one, as Channel Nine’s endless retrospective programs constantly remind us. Remember when that dog pissed on Graham Kennedy’s set- What about that punch-up on the Midday show-  And remember when everyone had a thing for ‘reality television’- Good times.

Still, there’s no dispute in my mind about the greatest Australian TV program of all time. My idea of a perfect Saturday night starts at 6.30 pm, just after the news. We go out to a nice restaurant: Daryl, Ossie the Ostrich, Jackie Macdonald and me, like the double date from heaven. Dinner is interspersed with cheeky quips from Dickie Knee, who occasionally pops up from underneath the table.

After that, Daryl (who’s wearing a lovely jumper, by the way), Ossie, Denise Drysdale and I take a walk by the water. Russell Gilbert springs out of nowhere, makes a joke, and laughs at it, like this: ‘Huhr huhr huhr…’ I love his laugh. His friend Andrew Fyfe does a crudely drawn caricature of the four of us. He does it very, very fast. I start to think that Denise wasn't such a good idea after all though.

Next, Daryl, Ossie, me and Jo Beth Taylor (who is easier on the eyes than Denise) check out some live music. We all suspect it was prerecorded. We meet up with Red, who insists on giving every band a score out of 10. His scores are usually around the two or three mark, but the genius is that his scores are consistently low, so it all works out the same anyway.

Red plays the tough guy, but I like him. Jo Beth and I both like him, and deep down we know it's all just an act, even when he occasionally gets tired of the conversation and hits his gong.

(For a brief moment Daryl is replaced by Larry Emdur, but he leaves when Daryl returns from the bathroom.)

Some time later, Daryl, Ossie, Livinia Nixon and I go to a club called the Plucka Duck. They give out random prizes to anyone who’s prepared to endure 15 minutes of thinly veiled product placement and advertising slogans…

Life will never be the same without Hey Hey It’s Saturday. There really has been nothing quite like it - wholesome, ever-so-slightly subversive family entertainment. Heck, the Hey Hey team was like an extended part of your own family for those two hours (two-and-a-half hours if they were going overtime).

I really do lament the loss of Daryl, Ossie and the others… But Australia’s Funniest Home Videos fills that timeslot now, so I guess it isn’t all that bad. Ho, did you see that- It got him right in the nuts!