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Acid Tongue 886 - Burying Our Heads In The Sandilands

Author: Holly Hutchinson
Friday, 23 November 2007
A young, previously unknown man makes his way into a job as a radio presenter on a commercial radio station. Once settled into his role, he begins swearing on air, staging pissing contests, showing his testicles to interviewees and ordering junior staff to be sacked for incompetence. He forces a teenage member of staff to admit he is gay on air and attempts to ban punk act Frenzal Rhomb from all commercial radio stations during a personal dispute that began at the Bass in the Grass festival.

‘Ye gods!’ you scream. ‘How quickly was he fired-’ Sorry tiger, he was never fired. He was promoted to prime time TV.  

I’m talking, of course, about Kyle Sandilands. As soon as he careered onto Australian Idol like a sweaty pimp, he began calling women ‘moles and men ‘mongs’, doing his bit for bloodthirsty viewers and record labels alike as the show churns out cover artists who make everybody but themselves wealthy.

Meanwhile, back on radio, his constant bullying and arse-wiperey was making Jonah Takalua look like Bindi Irwin. In 2006, he phoned journalist Fiona Connolly on air to call her a ‘fat lying mole’ after she reported on an incident where Sandilands’s show had been caught using bogus callers. He announced he was going to stalk her family with a camera until they did something ‘dodgy.’ In 2007, he used his show to rant about a policeman who had booked him for speeding, had an on-air clash with Molly Meldrum, and claimed that smoking isn’t as bad as everyone says.

It was recently announced that Sandilands will now not only be ebbing out of our radios and filling our television screens whenever we’re unfortunate enough to turn them on in the long hours of every day he tyrannises them, but he and radio co-host Jackie O – the presenter who coincidentally found her way onto radio after marrying ‘Ugly’ Phil O’Neil from the 2DayFm top 30 countdown – will be the new presenters on Big Brother.

What does the rise of this monstrosity’s career say about Australia- How can he still be on television- It’s as though a producer walked into a Brisbane pub, found Sandilands on the pokies smoking a fag and harassing the bartender and tapped him on the shoulder and asked him if he wanted to be on TV. How masochistic can we possibly be that we’re happy to let this happen- 

I would like to think that in a perfect world, everyone would just stop paying attention to Sandilands or, failing that, I’d like to at least know what exactly has given him so much success. Unlike other so-called ‘shock jocks’, he’s barely political and doesn’t champion any cause – in fact if anything he seems to have been transported from the Middle Ages and given some hair product. Maybe it’s more this than anything else that has made him so successful: everyone loves a freak show, right-