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Fuze - Perfect Festive Moments

Author: Aaron Roach
Monday, 3 December 2007
It's beginning to look a lot like the festive season (I changed it to avoid copyright infringement of a certain song).

Around this time of the year, people start to wind down from a big season in the offices. Christmas parties replace working days, one night stands dominate the photocopier rooms and resignations increase due to said photocopier room thingos.

It's somewhat perplexing as to why office folk always get themselves into the sorts of situations that ensure there's a surreal awkwardness after the holiday break.

The crap thing is, you've got two weeks to figure out why you thought that, at that perfect moment in a drunken haze, it'd be brilliant to get your arse or boobs copied multiple times, while at the same time forgetting that you'd just done it and leaving them in the machine for others to see.

After those two weeks are over, however, reality hits like a vegetarian Indian curry repeating on you like woeful 'Gaybours' re-runs. You're back in the office and wondering if people are checking out your arse or boobs to see if those copies are yours.

"They're not looking at me...they're not looking at me...they're...oh my...they ARE looking. What do I do, what do I do- Play cool, play cool...shit...my arse/boobs look better in real life and now I'll have to show them...err...again."

It's right at that perfect moment, that one beautiful moment of realisation, that you will live out the rest of your days saying to yourself, "Did they really think it was me-"

Whoops.

Is this a personal experience- I fear answering that question will result in nothing but paranoia.

Enjoy the coming weeks, kids - festive season is here.
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