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Underside - You Won't Fool The Children Of The Revolution

Author: Jack Cody
Tuesday, 11 November 2008

“Individuals have international duties which transcend the national obligations of obedience… therefore they have the duty to violate domestic laws to prevent crimes against peace and humanity from occurring.” - Nuremberg War Crime Tribunal, 1950.

Thank Christ Obama won. And I mean that. In the US, the Right has been trying to hold up a cardboard cut-out of Jesus Christ in front of their wrinkled faces and addled glassy eyes for too long.

Ever since Karl Rove told George W Bush to pretend like he was born-again for long enough to convince Catholics and evangelicals to vote for him, the Right has worn a dime-store halo. It is a halo unblemished to believers despite gay prostitution rings in the White House, Bush’s cocaine-soaked pseudo-military career and Cheney’s modus operandi of obliterating Iraq and hiring Halliburton to rebuild it, over and over again.

For months I’ve had to watch Christians wavering over whether or not they would support McCain/Palin or Obama/Biden.

On the one side is a man who bombed women and children overseas and was captured ‘in the line of duty.’ He then went on to cheat on his wife with an heiress worth around $100 million. During the campaign, they barely spoke, never touched each other, and Cindy kindly painted him as an unfeeling monster in the New Yorker’s profile of her.

And Palin… a self-professed Pentecostalist (yes, they speak in tongues) has a daughter that, at the least, has a bastard child, and at the worst, had Trig as well. Under investigation for ethics breaches, she grabbed at the bit so hard when McCain rang her up to be veep, she nearly bit it in half.

On the other hand, we have a family man who clearly has the love and adoration of his children and his wife, and whom, it must be said, is definitely still having sex (with his wife). They’re the picture book family, no weird skeletons, no strange sexual innuendos, no adultery. When he says that politicians should take the high road, he takes the high road. If he was going to give me relationship advice, I’d be a whole lot more likely to take it from him than from the other candidates. Which is to say, being Christian, or being what Christians consider themselves to be, a good person, starts at home.

It starts with helping out poor people in your own neighbourhood (Obama), not racketeering oil companies (Palin) or making sure that every available tax dollar goes towards defense (McCain), which, under America’s current foreign policy equates to carpet-bombing Afghanistan.

Being a good person starts with loving your wife and children, not philandering around with richer bitches whenever the opportunity arises. It means being as responsible before you have sex as after. Come on, Palin… it represents one level of stupidity to think that you could have a healthy baby at 44 years-old, but it takes a bag of evil the size of Houston to use that as a political tool.

The reason that people have warmed to this skinny little mulatto isn’t his mellifluous tenor. It isn’t the fact that he patiently tried to explain his stance on just about every issue during the campaign for president while his opponents spit bumper-sticker slogans out repeatedly, my friends, raise taxes, my friends. The thing that made people in every country around the world, from Australia to Iran, jump with joy earlier this week is his passion, and the fact that he’s smarter than most of us.

The simple fact is that, at least for one term, Americans are damned tired of having a chimpanzee leading them. Reagan was a fantastically popular president, and he used to act alongside chimps. In 2000, America was ready to elect a real chimp.  But after eight years, they realised what happens when you let chimps and pederasts run the country. Everything goes bananas and turns gay.

Long live Obama.

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