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Stylin' 934

Author: Alyx Gorman/Ingrid Kesa
Tuesday, 11 November 2008

NEWS

Conde Nast has cancelled Fashion Rocks, a once a year concert and Vogue fashion supplement. This year’s performance saw Beyonce, Justine Timberlake, Rihanna and Mariah Carey all team up with fashion designers for a concert and photo shoot. Past memorable matches have included Beth Ditto with Christopher Kane and Iggy Pop with an eerily similar looking Donatella Versace. Spokespeople for the publishing house said that – rather than being canned altogether – Fashion Rocks is on hiatus. Here’s hoping the economy picks up soon so we can go back to mag endorsed fashion and music collaborations.

We think this fashion week thing has gotten a bit out of hand; now cities with no industry to speak of – or extremely small ones – seem to be throwing fashion weeks. Case in point: last week saw the start of Phoenix Fashion week (as in Arizona, not flaming birds), Russian Fashion Week and Vancouver Fashion Week, while next week is Abu Dhabi Fashion Week. Abu Dhabi Fashion Week acts as the major luxury showcase for the Middle East – one of the fastest growing luxury markets in the world. Big international brands like Pucci and Missoni have shown their work at Abu Dhabi, and this year sees the inclusion of ten local Emirati student designers. The same cannot be said for Vancouver and Phoenix Fashion Weeks, however – we’re getting a headache thinking about all the ways non-fashion cities could better spend their money.

Now seems like a suicidal time to launch a magazine, as fashion rags worldwide lay off staff, and rumours bubble about the death of Australian Grazia, after less than a year on the market (largely unsubstantiated rumours, we must add). Nevertheless, it seems some brave souls are willing to fly their kites in the storm. Locally, plans are still brewing for an Australian edition of American Glamour magazine (think Marie Claire but with more fashion and beauty), which we’re looking forward to reading, but can’t see ourselves buying a subscription if it comes even close to appropriating the cringe inducing sexism of its Yankee big sister. In the UK a new young men’s fashion and lifestyle mag is launching, and with a focus on food, fashion, design, music and the arts, Buck Magazine sounds like a far cry from Ralph and Zoo Weekly. Buck’s founder Steve Doyle says the magazine will cash in on a cultural shift other magazines are yet to pick up. We hope it hits Australian stands too.

In light of recent events, we just want all the glamour girls of Sydney to know that the National Domestic Violence Hotline number is: 1-800-799-SAFE(7233).

SUMMER DON'TS

Obesity
In a nation where obesity affects more than half the population, ‘real women’ belong in winter. Putting on extra kilos is necessary in cold weather, and easily disguised under trench coats. When summer and its skimpier garments roll around, no one wants to be mistaken for a manatee when paddling at the beach.

Sun tanning
Skin cancer is such a faux pas. Unless your guide for summer is Puberty Blues, you’ll have better sense than to slather on the tanning oil while the sun rapes your epidermis. To avoid looking like a pre-loved Doc Marten leather boot by the time you’re 30, we suggest slipping, slopping and slapping all day long, baby.

Sobriety
Daylight savings was designed for binge drinking. People who don’t drink are social outcasts anyway, but while the weather is warm and the beer is cold, sobriety is a sin.

Jeans and thongs
You would’ve come to realise our aversion to guys in open-toed shoes by now, but when teamed with jeans, the combination is an eyesore. Try your fave rubber footwear with shorts in chambray or light cotton instead of denim drainpipes.

Cut-out swimwear
This should not be seen on anyone except those who have bodies like Miranda Kerr. Actually, the only person who has a body like Miranda Kerr is Miranda Kerr. Do not try this at home; you’ll end up looking like the bronze medal winner from the local Miss Slutty Skank bikini comp.

Backpackers / tourists
Despite stereotypical renderings of hot Swedes, the majority of backpackers have lice, annoying accents and hyperactive libidos. Take your melanoma-prone skin and cargo pants elsewhere, mates.

Not wearing shoes
Summer in itself does not act as a valid excuse to throw off the shackles of oppression and live out your fantasy of walking through the city barefoot. Have fun plucking the syringes out from between your toes.

Bikini bras
Unless you want to harvest a luscious crop of thrush in your cleavage, it’s best to ditch the wet bikini top in favour of a conventional brassiere.

Public transport
In summer, everyone on buses and trains become more infuriating, to the point where suddenly you’re the crazy person yelling “I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts” and attracting scared looks from families.

Public swimming pools
Just try to think of something more unappealing than bathing in the piss, sweat and soggy bandaids of total strangers on a hot summers day.

EVENTS


What: Cheap Arse Tuesday Denim Sale
When: Tuesday 11 November from 10am – 6pm
Where: Dobry Den, 326 Crown St, Surry Hills

What: Raw Fashion Agency Sample Sale
When: Thursday 14 November from 8am – 8pm, Friday 15 November from 10am – 6pm
Where: Level 5, Suite 15a 50 Holt Street, Surry Hills

What: Beastman Begins opening
When: Friday 15 November from 6.30pm
Where: China Heights, 257 Crown St, Surry Hills

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