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Stylin' 942

Author: Alyx Gorman/Ingrid Kesa
Tuesday, 24 February 2009

NEWS
Kicking off the New Year with a bang, Karl Lagerfeld managed to offend most of fashion’s staunchest critics in one fell radio interview. Talking to the UK’s Radio 4, Lagerfeld first had a message for the anti-fur brigade. The ring-encrusted designer argued that discussing fur in a world where meat and leather were commonplace is childish – so far so fair. If you’re willing to let baby cows die for your food and shoes, you probably can’t complain when a fluffy mink meets the same fate. His next defence however, was not so logical. He suggested that, “Hunters in the north… make a living having learnt nothing else than hunting… killing those beasts who would kill us if they could.” We aren’t sure if this is a defence of indigenous Canadians’, and impoverished Russians’ fur industry revenue stream, or if he’s honestly suggesting that baby seals bite back. Either way, most fur is farmed now, so “hunters in the north” aren’t relevant anyway. Next he defended skinny models by suggesting that perhaps we should worry about other weighty issues instead. “In France there are, I think, less than one per cent of people who are too skinny… There are nearly 30 per cent of young people who are too fat. So let's take care of the zillions of the ‘too fat’ before we talk about the percentage that's left.” Because as a species we are only capable of worrying about weight in one direction at a time. Clearly.

In less hilarious news from the UK, The Times is reporting that high street retail giant Marks and Spencer will lay off more than 1000 employees, following an abysmal holiday season. We’re just hoping the face of the chain, Lily Cole, won’t be one of the employees getting a severance cheque. Other major chains are not faring much better, with Monsoon and Accessorize facing supply issues and other brands going into receivership. This news comes after Italian label Miss Sixty’s UK branch went into administration last year. Higher end labels are yet to be hit as hard, with London Fashion Week gearing up for its biggest showing ever. That being said, if you are after a career in retail, it might be better to avoid England for now.

Thanks to the efforts of PETA, the Australian wool industry has lost another client. South Korean distribution and manufacturing company Kukdong Corporation has said it will cut Australian wool out of its supply chain. The Kukdong Corporation, who manage brands like Pierre Cardin are the latest of many to stop using Australian wool, due to the controversial practice of mulesing. Mulesing is a surgical procedure designed to prevent fly strike. It was supposed to be phased out of the Australian wool industry by 2010, but with no other viable solutions to the problem emerging, this deadline seems unlikely to be met. PETA shouldn’t cheer too much at the latest blow though, as Australian Council of Wool Exporters and Processors executive director, Peter Morgan, hit back at them last week, telling the Australian that, as the companies distancing themselves from Australian wool didn’t use much of it to begin with, the boycott was basically “tokenism.” He went on to suggest that the industry was much more threatened by the global economic crisis. It will be a bleak day indeed when PETA become more of a threat to anyone than a worldwide financial meltdown.


FEATURE
THE INS AND OUTS OF IT – PART 1

Around this time of year, everyone is writing “what’s hot, what’s not” articles. Well, we noticed that some of the things people think are hot are decidedly not, and it’s about time we brought some of those outs back in. This week we’ll examine ‘09’s most tasteless trends, while next week we’ll take a look at faded fashions that should be revitalised.

Gladiator sandals – This is perhaps the textbook look of summer, but we have a complaint. There is nothing worse than seeing a walking cliché, so please avoid teaming these with tie-dye dresses and tousled hair, you are not Mischa Barton three years ago, nor are you last season Serena Van Der Woodson, and even if you are, isn’t it time to try- Just a little--

Patterned maxi dresses – These were explicitly made to suit two kinds of body shape: the tiny and the titanic. If you’re a size 6, you shouldn’t be wearing something that covers your enviable figure to the ankles. The Victorian era is so over. If you’re of a fuller figure, just wear black. Pucci-inspired prints and podgy stomachs do not work. And then there are those stringy little straps, ladies please – if you are past puberty your twins need a little more support than that.

Borange – Otherwise known as Lindsay Lohan, otherwise known as gross fake tan. We thought the idea of fake tan was to create a healthy glow. We realise you’re less likely to be hit with a car when your skin is this colour, but could you not just wear a road worker vest instead- It would be much more flattering.

New Year’s Eve hangovers – C’mon, New Years Eve was so long ago! Will these migraines and munters on the streets just go away-

Paris Hilton – Someone who is literally in Australia and should literally get out; it baffles us that they flew her all the way over here just to blow a few air kisses and buy out some girly boutiques. She apparently visited a children’s hospital on the Gold Coast, because having cancer wasn’t torture enough for the poor kids.

Fake wayfarers – It may seem like a bargain at the time when you’re standing in front of the $20 sunglass rack at the petrol station. Think about how quickly these break + how many pairs you have bought = It’s time to splash out and buy real Ray Bans already.

Dying kittens – According to the RSPCA, 10 unwanted kittens are put down everyday. The deaths of tiny, furry, purring animals is pretty uncool, huh- So, next time you’re tempted to get an animal you can’t look after, buy a Furby instead. Same thing, but you can take out the batteries.

Binge drinking prevention laws – What is up with lockouts and the 10-minute rule anyway- The first doubles debauchery on the streets while the second creates a backlog of angry drunks at the bar who just want “a glass of water, I sweeeeaaaaarrrrrr.” ILY trusty hip flask.

Unbrushed beach hair – There is a difference between sexy and bordering on dreadlocks. Do it yourself, don’t expect the ocean to do it for you. Try using salt spray for a look that’s summer not stringy.

Loose-fitting jersey singlet dresses – Honestly ladies, you have to put these away. We know they’re comfy in the heat, but frankly, how could you be comfortable when your entire boob is showing out the side of your top- At least put a crop top underneath.

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