Article Archive

Bike Sex Lover Defended

Author: Jonty Skrufff
Monday, 26 November 2007

Scottish bike lover Robert Stewart could have avoided being placed on the sex offenders' register for pleasuring his bicycle in an Ayr hotel, human rights lawyers suggested this week, if he'd refused to plead guilty and challenged his arrest on privacy grounds.

Cleaners at the hostel reportedly forced their way into Mr. Stewart's room and found him naked from the waist down 'moving his hips back and forth', the Sun reported.

Mr. Stewart, reportedly smiled at the intruders, asked '"What is it, hen-" and carried on, said the Sun.

"He thought he was having fun with the cleaners," Mr. Stewart's solicitor later told the court, "He doesn't think it's funny any more."

The same solicitor went on to describe his client as a 'sad little man' though human rights lawyer John Scott said the only reason he'd been placed on the sex offenders register was because he pleaded guilty to breach of the peace charges so judges were unable to consider privacy issues.

"This case should not prevent people who want to engage in this sort of activity from doing so," Mr. Scott recommended, "What I would say to a client of mine that wanted to do this kind of thing is as long as it's behind a bolted door, with an inanimate object, then each to their own."

Guardian writer Matt Seaton was similarly sympathetic, arguing 'aanyone who loves cycling is, to some extent, a bike fetishist."

"The principle any self-respecting court ought surely to have been upholding here was that what passes between a person and their consenting bicycle behind closed doors is nobody's business but their own," he suggested.

"Robert Stewart's misfortune was . . . to live in a place where being in their own bedroom apparently gives people no entitlement to privacy," he added.

In more solo sex news, artificial intelligence expert David Levy chatted more about his recent predictions that falling in love with a robot will soon be both possible and popular, and suggested large numbers of people will be dating robots for real.

"There are lots of people who find it difficult to find themselves a sex partner. These people are lonely, they're miserable, they may suffer from some sort of psychological deprivation because they're not getting regular satisfactory sex," he told Canada's Globe and Mail newspaper.

"(But) it won't only be people who are lacking a sexual partner," he predicted.

"Some people will do it for curiosity, some for fun. If a wife says to the husband, 'Not tonight, I've got a headache,' she could then say, 'Why don't you make it with the robot.' And, traditionally, women worry about their husbands when they go on business trips, but if he's got his robot with him, he doesn't need to go to a nightclub or a strip joint."

Jonty Skrufff