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Oakenfold's Neighbour From Hell- There Goes The Neighbourhood

Author: Jonty Skrufff
Monday, 26 November 2007


Armed police clutching high velocity machine guns stood on the doorsteps of Tony Blair's Connaught Square town house this week, just yards from the front door of long suffering next door neighbour Paul Oakenfold.

The heavy-duty security measures came days after the Daily Mail revealed the former Prime Minister is feeling 'very low' after losing power as well as finding himself living in an 'unutterably naff' home, filled with 'expensive marble floors, a 'huge and tacky' plasma TV and all their 'old, nasty furniture'.

"Considering all the renovations they are still having done, the place is a taste-free zone," a 'friend' of the Blairs told the tabloid, "Cherie simply has no clue about style and decoration. The house in Islington that they had before they moved into Downing Street was a shambles, and this place is the same," the friend added.

Richard Norris, who as well as recently reviving his mega successful 90s band The Grid, found time to write 'Paul Oakenfold- the Authorised Biography', said Oakey's been fortunate in spending most of his time in his second home in LA so far, with just occasional interactions with his scary neighbours.

"He said he was invited to a meeting once because Tony and Cherie want to build a big wall. So they wrote him a little letter asking for permission," said Richard, "Paul wanted to collar him and be made Minister of Entertainment."

Fellow Grid man Dave Ball (of Soft Cell fame) also revealed a political edge, telling Skrufff ' "I live next door to (ex Liberal Democrat leader turned Lord) Paddy Ashdown' in Oval.

"Tony Blair used to go round there for dinner sometimes too," Dave laughed, "But I've never seen men with machine guns there."

The Grid's new single 'Put Your Hands Together' is out now, followed by their long awaited follow up album Doppel Ganger in the new year on Some Bizarre Records.



Jonty Skrufff

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