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Top 10 Shit Facebook 'Apps'

Author: Aaron Roach
Friday, 14 March 2008
I could sit here all day talking about how social networking is the most amazing thing ever to happen to the world. It allows people to keep in touch, from old school days, to new friends met at parties, etc. The issue, however, is the bullshit people come up with that they think is awesome, like popularity contests from high school days.

Not much has changed, which is why I decided to point out some shit time wasters on Facebook. Enjoy, you nerds.

10. The 'What Colour Is Your Heart-' App
Give me a bloody break. So many people out there truly value the biased tests of whether or not they are living up to someone else's expectations. You know what- My heart is black with the rage it feels for people's abuse of others' emotions.
9. The 'Spark' App
People of the internet world are never good looking. There is no such thing as a hot person trawling the web for other 'beautiful men and women in your friends' networks'. You know why- They don't need a fuckin' social site to pick up hot people. Jesus.
8. The 'Flirtable' App
Almost like above, but only lonely people use the internet to find their true love. It's one of the only reasons they work for the developers, because Google won't rank for all the people doing it solo out there. Do yourself a favour - open that large, archaic thing at the front of the house called a door and knock out some kids with the next door neighbour, or whatever you can get.
7. The 'Hatching Eggs' App
"Give your friend the gift that hatches!" Fuckin' hell, why don't you just give your friends a sexual disease instead- That way, the hatching is a personal experience shared by more than one person. You could even share it with your list of friends, if they were so inclined to sleep with around 200 people.
6. The 'Who Has The Biggest Brain-' App
Pretty obvious to me who has - the billionaire who came up with Facebook. Case closed.
5. The 'Honesty Box' App
Apparently, it allows your friends to be totally and completely honest with you. You soft cocks - can't even get out there and confront them with the issues that you're feeling.
4. The 'My Heroes Ability' App
Obviously developed by some Warcraft nerd who feels as though Facebook should be another MMORPG (nerds get that acronym), where they can increase their annoying levels with an inhibitor-reduce potion and be themselves (in Elf or Wizard avatar form).
3. The 'Coolest Person Contest' App
There is no contest - I am the coolest person alive.